Church Leaders & Group Facilitators
This page was created specifically for pastors, marriage ministry coordinators, small group leaders, and retreat organizers bringing the F.O.R.E.V.E.R. W.E.D. framework to a group setting.
Looking for the workbook as an individual couple? Visit choosingusnow.com → for the main book site, pricing, and ordering options.
The Framework
Adaptable for Every Setting
The workbook is designed for couples working independently, but adapts naturally to three group formats. The principles remain the same — the delivery shifts to accommodate multiple couples learning together.
Ideal for churches with small group ministries, couples who already know each other, and settings where intimacy and accountability are the priority.
Best for Sunday school classes, marriage ministry programs, and settings where teaching is combined with structured application.
Ideal for marriage enrichment weekends, church retreats, and couples seeking concentrated growth in a focused, immersive environment.
For Weekly Group Settings
A proven timeline for working through the material in a weekly group setting. A compressed 10-week option is possible by combining Chapters 8 and 9, but give both principles their own week if your calendar allows.
| Week | Focus | Key Points |
|---|---|---|
| Week 1 | Introduction + Part I Overview | Introduce the framework, establish group norms, assign P1/P2/P3 before Week 2. Remind couples P3 requires 2–3 hours of biographical sharing together. |
| Week 2 | Checkpoint + F: Flexibility | Brief Part I reflection (P3 stays private). Teach and apply Chapter 1. Homework: Continue/Stop/Start journaling. |
| Week 3 | O: Open Communication | Power Hour activities focused on communication. Homework: Practice communication tools at home during the week. |
| Week 4 | R: Respect | Power Hour activities focused on respect. Homework: Respect-building exercises throughout the week. |
| Week 5 | E: Empathy | Power Hour activities focused on empathy. The group typically has enough trust by now for slightly deeper sharing. |
| Week 6 | Milestone 1 + V: Vulnerability | Milestone 1 brief discussion — couples decide what to share. Vulnerability exercises are often the hardest; honor that. |
| Week 7 | E: Empowerment | Power Hour activities focused on empowerment. Consider sending couples to separate spaces for the most personal exercises. |
| Week 8 | R: Resilience | Couples have now worked through six principles. Reinforce the cumulative growth they can feel building. |
| Week 9 | W: Wellness | Power Hour activities focused on wellness. Encourage continued practices throughout the week. |
| Week 10 | E: Emotional Intelligence | Group conversation often deepens noticeably here. Emotional intelligence practices continue as homework. |
| Week 11 | D: Devotion + Milestone 2 | Power Hour activities on devotion. Milestone 2 discussion. Final micro-practices and devotion reflection as homework. |
| Week 12 | Celebration + Looking Ahead | What did you learn? Where did you grow? What will you carry forward? Optional: Communion, renewal of vows, or commissioning prayer. |
Each Group Meeting
Individual couples follow a 60-minute Power Hour. Groups need a modified structure. The following 90-minute format works consistently across all three settings.
Activity Guidance
Devotional Commencement, Purposeful Pondering, Scripture Insights, Gratitude Moment, Intimate Intercession. Activity options labeled "GROUP SAFE" in each chapter.
Insight Exchange — couples share summaries only with each other, not the whole group. Bonding activity options A and B are generally group-safe.
Constructive Feedback Circle must remain private between the couple. Bonding activity options C and D often require private space.
Every chapter opens with a vignette following the same couple across all ten chapters. Use it as a safe entry point — especially in early sessions before couples are ready to share from their own experience.
Establishing Safety
Establish these at your very first session and revisit them regularly. Vulnerability cannot exist without intentional safety structures.
What is shared in the group stays in the group. When someone shares something vulnerable, acknowledge it — then remind the group: "Remember, this stays here."
Each couple's journey is unique. Comparison breeds either pride or shame — neither helps growth. Redirect immediately when it emerges.
Offer support, not solutions. Unless directly asked for advice, focus on listening. Your role is to create space, not solve problems.
Passing is always acceptable — no explanation needed. Normalize this from Session 1: "You can always say 'Pass.'"
Know the Limits
This curriculum is designed for marriage enrichment, not crisis intervention. Watch for these signs that a couple needs more than this workbook can provide.
"I'm hearing some things beyond what this curriculum is designed to address. I think you'd benefit from talking with a licensed counselor. That doesn't mean you're failing — it means you're being wise."
Common Situations
Every group has challenging moments. Here is how to navigate the most common ones.
Shares excessively or monopolizes discussion. Redirect: "Thank you — let's hear from someone who hasn't spoken yet." Speak privately if it continues.
Attends but never volunteers. Don't pressure publicly. Check in privately. As long as they're completing the work, silence doesn't mean disengagement.
Claims no problems; subtly judges others. Normalize struggle: "Every marriage faces challenges — it's what we do with them that matters." Perfectionism often hides fear.
Shows visible tension during group time. Redirect: "Let's save that for your private time together." If it persists, speak privately — some couples need professional support before continuing.
Tries to "fix" other couples. Restate the norm: "We appreciate your care — our role is to listen and support, not solve." Speak privately if it persists.
Consistently misses sessions. After two absences, reach out privately. After three without communication, they may need to join a future cohort — the material builds on itself.
A Note for You, the Leader
Don't let leading this curriculum harm the very thing you're helping others build. If you are currently in crisis, get help first — then lead from a place of health.
You are not responsible for outcomes. Your job is to create the space and guide the process. Your faithfulness in leading matters more than your skill in facilitating.
Group & Church Purchases
Two workbooks per couple is the recommended approach — each partner has their own copy to write in, reflect in, and keep. Contact us directly for group pricing, church bulk orders, and retreat packages.
Two workbooks per couple — each partner writes in and keeps their own
Available via Amazon for individual or small-quantity purchases
Bulk and church ministry orders — contact for pricing and logistics
Dr. Alford is available for retreat keynotes and marriage ministry training
Paperback: $24.99 | eBook: $9.99
The eBook is intended for reference reading. Written exercises require a physical workbook or separate journal.
Get in Touch
Whether you're leading a small group, planning a marriage enrichment retreat, or inquiring about a speaking engagement, Dr. Alford welcomes the conversation.
This page is shared privately with group leaders. It is not indexed or linked from the main site. You may share this link with co-facilitators and church leadership.
Dr. Alford is available for marriage retreat keynotes, marriage ministry leadership training, and church speaking engagements. Use the form to discuss availability and format options.